-Krissy Little
Monday, January 12, 2009
Meeting With 2 Folks Instead of 1?
I've heard you say that you always think it's better to meet 3 people at a time (one leader, two folks being led). Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but it's feeling more natural to me when I'm meeting one on one vs. where I have 2 people. Any tips? What are the benefits, other than obviously less time commitment?
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As always, these are just my opinions based on my experience. I could be wrong!
ReplyDeleteI think it's better meeting with more guys because 1) I want to have these guys teach EVERY TIME we get together. They must become accustomed to sharing their faith and teaching scriptural truths to an 'audience'. Like, they start teaching, and there are other sets of eyes, waiting with pen in hand, for them to give something of value to us. The Bible says that being able to teach is a prerequisite for eldership, and I hope to be training future elders. If there's only one person, it devolves into a conversation, and I want them to feel on stage, to some degree. I hope that makes sense. 2) They really need a reference point other than you. People we're loving on can tend to think you descended from the clouds, and that you know everything about God. (This is one reason you should constantly confess sin to them...) You can also give them someone who can walk beside them. You are walking, figuratively, ahead of them. They need to feel they have someone who's going to boot camp for the first time, too. Having a peer as well as a mentor is very encouraging for any of us. They may think they can never attain your level of knowledge and faith, but they may well feel that the faith of their compadre is altogether attainable. 3) Relationships built with Jesus at the center are just the best thing in the whole world. Guys who I've mentored together have become best friends, being best men in each others' weddings, etc. I would love to make those groups of 10, if I thought it would work. But you'd just lose too many people in a group that size. I don't know how Jesus did it! (I guess living with people around the clock helped create space for lots of one-on-one moments...) They will become versed in counseling others as they see you counseling. I know that it's going good when one guy asks a question and, instead of jumping out with my answer, I turn to the other guy and ask what he thinks. He'll know that he must advise based on scripture (because he's seen me do it) and that he has as much right to the truth as I do. His confidence will build. And these guys will learn to lean on ANYBODY who gives them God's truth (we are not trying to make Steven loyalists, here. We are trying to make Jesus/Bible loyalists). It's healthy. Similarly, I make them pray for each other, which is powerfully growing for young believers. For me, their Spiritual Mentor, to indicate that their prayers for one another are as legitimate as my prayers for them, is a powerful thing. It's empowering for them. They start to understand authority.
I guess it's like parenting: my goal is that they'd be able to operate in their gifts and authority when I'm NOT around, so having another person their to practice on is a pretty great thing. If Kyle can pray for Dave in our meeting, why can't he pray for Matt outside our meeting? Or share his faith with Bill the same way he did with Dave? It just feels way more public for them to deal with each other as opposed to the kind of private feeling of dealing just with me. That's what I've seen, anyway.
Both work, but Stephen, your observations are good. I think depends on your preferences: the old-style Navs (don't get me started) were very focused on man-to-man, and this worked in the US in the 1940s, 50s, 60s and beyond, creating an exponentially growing group of healthy, living, breathing disciples. But people like Neil Cole advocate a triad: he says there's something special about three people meeting together to 1) confess their sins, 2) read copious amounts of scripture together and discuss it and 3) pray for lost friends.
ReplyDeleteThere's no magic formula: reproduce your life, either on a small or large scale, and you're already doing more than most, a obeying Jesus' command to multiply either in a small or large way.
Blessings you guys: love what you're doing/writing! KNN